Demartini Course Notes

7 courses · 49 lessons · each one as a big idea, key points and a checklist. Personal study notes written from the lessons, in our own words.

01 · Loving Relationship Formula 02 · Life Mastery Blueprint 03 · 10 Essential Steps to Financial Independence 04 · Building a Business That Serves 05 · Master Your Perceptions, Master Your Life 06 · The Path to Great Leadership (6 Steps)07 · How to Change Your Values

01Loving Relationship Formula

Dr Demartini teaches that lasting love comes from linking each other's top values, being open about expectations, and balancing similarities and differences.

01.01The Loving Relationship Formula

A short course answering common relationship questions, from money to communication, with practical steps.

Key points

The course covers 20 or so common relationship questions.
Each module runs about ten minutes.
Topics include communication, money, sexuality and conflict.
The goal is a stronger bond with yourself and your partner.
Replaying modules helps you apply the ideas faster.

Do this

Take notes by hand or on a computer as you go.
Replay each module and apply one idea at once.
Write down the questions you most want answered.
Pick one relationship issue to work on first.

01.02The Law of Appreciation in Relationships

People feel appreciated when you speak to their top values; learn both sets and link them.

Key points

Everyone lives by a ranked list of values; the top ones drive identity.
Talking about their low values makes a person feel devalued.
Helping someone live their top value makes them feel appreciated.
If you cannot see how their values serve you, you try to change them.
Trying to fix each other turns dialogue into two monologues.
Whatever you judge in them, you also do somewhere yourself.
Owning that trait stops you looking down or up at them.

Do this

Take the online Demartini Value Determination (13 questions, 30-40 minutes).
Ask your partner to take it too.
Write down each person's top three values.
Ask: how does their top value help me fulfil mine? Answer 10 to 40 times.
Find a time you showed the same trait you admire or despise in them.
Speak in their values when you ask for something.

01.03Cracking the Happily Ever After Fantasy

Lasting happiness is a myth; aim for fulfilment by embracing both sides of your partner.

Key points

Early infatuation is a high that fades as the brain adapts.
Nobody is only kind or only cruel; we are a balance of opposites.
Infatuated, you see only upsides; resentful, only downsides; in love, both.
Wanting only the positive side leads to disappointment and low mood.
People act from their values, not yours, so expecting otherwise feels like betrayal.
Support alone keeps you dependent; challenge alone harms; both help you grow.
Fulfilment comes from seeing how both sides of them serve you.

Do this

Drop the wish for a partner who is only pleasant.
List how their annoying behaviour actually serves you.
Stop expecting them to live by your values.
Practise appreciating both their support and their challenge.
Expect ups and downs, and do not read them as failure.

01.04Setting Transparent Expectation Lists at the Beginning of a Relationship

Put your real expectations and deal-breakers on the table early; hide no agendas.

Key points

Hidden fantasies about each other clash silently and break hearts later.
Infatuated people hide their true selves, then resent it.
Broken hearts come from broken fantasies, not from broken love.
Name your non-negotiables early: kids, smoking, travel, money, habits.
Where a thing is not firm, you can soften your judgment of it.
Some mismatches are better turned into friendship.
A relationship has trade-offs like a business; a prenup is one way to be open.

Do this

Write your non-negotiables and your flexible preferences.
State your worst habits and patterns to a new partner.
Ask for their list and listen without trying to fix it.
Say what you want about kids and lifestyle before you invest years.
Use the Demartini Method on items you want to make negotiable.
Decide whether a mismatch becomes friendship instead.

01.05Mastering the Art of Communication

Good communication means asking for what you want in terms of what your partner values.

Key points

Opposite top values (family vs business) look like conflict until linked.
Complaining that he is not helping is not the linking answer.
Real links: his work pays for the home, schooling and clothes.
Linking values first dissolves tension and brings gratitude.
Treat your partner like a valued customer: learn their needs.
Frame a request so they win too, and they give you freedom.
Talking down to people makes them tune out, adults or children.
If you assume they should be like you, you feel betrayed.

Do this

Link each other's top values before making a big request.
Name the real benefit to them first, then your request.
Plan your ask around something they love.
Ask questions instead of assuming what they need.
Rehearse a request in their values out loud.
Stop labelling and start finding what they spontaneously care about.

01.06Couple Vision, Mission and Goal Setting

Plan your life together with three goal lists: yours, theirs and shared, then link them.

Key points

Without planning, other people's expectations fill your life.
Too many similarities bore; too many differences burn out; balance brings love.
Keep three categories: my goals, their goals, our goals.
Overlap can be as low as 30 percent before linking.
Let each person do some things alone, without resentment.
A request that serves their goals gets a yes.
His story: asking his wife to meet him in Venice during his tour.
Caring means looking across at them, not up or down.

Do this

Each write a full bucket list alone, from what your life shows.
Compare lists and mark the common goals.
Link each other's goals: how does mine help yours?
Allow freedom on goals that do not overlap.
Invite your partner in, but accept a no.
Frame requests as helping their goal and yours.

01.07Maintaining the Balance of Powers for a Healthy Relationship

Each partner needs an area of real power and should lead where their top values lie.

Key points

Life has seven areas: spiritual, mental, business, financial, relationship, social, physical.
Any area you do not empower, someone else will overpower.
Imposing your values causes anger, blame and criticism.
The more infatuated, the more they rush to tie the relationship down.
The more empowered partner tends to stall.
Equal power with banter keeps each in check.
People grow most where their highest values lie.
He and his first wife split roles: business to him, family to her.

Do this

List the seven areas and score where you feel empowered.
Agree who leads in which area of life.
Delegate areas to the partner who is stronger there.
Do not suppress your partner's source of power.
Link values to keep flexibility between roles.
Use the Demartini Method when you resent their growth.

01.08The Law of Similars and Differences

Love is the balance of similarities and differences; too much of either brings smothering or resentment.

Key points

More similarities than differences gives infatuation.
More differences than similarities gives resentment.
A balance of both gives love.
We seek similars but then attract opposites, so both sayings are true.
The overlapping circles (vesica piscis) show a stable relationship.
Intimacy means seeing in yourself all you see in them.
Too alike is boring; too different is burnout.
When infatuated, ask about differences; when resentful, ask about similarities.

Do this

Keep an independent purpose plus a shared goal.
When infatuated, ask what is different about them.
When resentful, ask what you have in common.
Find the trait you judge in them within yourself.
Give each other space without losing contact.
Do not seek a clone of yourself.

01.09How to Balance Life With Kids

Children strain couples through divided attention; prioritise, delegate and keep both partners inspired.

Key points

The first child is manageable; the second and third strain the couple.
Attention per partner shrinks, so each feels left out.
The 'third child, second house' squeeze breaks many marriages.
Kids often carry the traits you disowned in your partner.
Each parent resents the other's job or the children's claim on time.
Parents raise kids differently by their own values.
The working parent should save some money for the other's satisfaction.

Do this

List your daily tasks with value per hour, meaning and delegation cost.
Delegate cooking, cleaning and low-priority chores.
Keep doing the work or goals that inspire you.
Do the Demartini Method on your spouse and each child.
Link what each parent does for the kids.
Agree a savings and slush fund for the family.

01.10Working Out the Finance Game as a Couple

Money fights come from different values; keep fair exchange with separate and shared accounts.

Key points

People spend on their highest values and starve the lowest.
Money disputes are a top cause of divorce.
Wealth also sits in beauty, intelligence, health and connections.
Humans look for fair exchange; the brain keeps score.
With equal incomes, keep own accounts plus a shared slush fund.
With unequal incomes, the other partner must bring other value.
Replacement value is what hiring someone to do everything they do would cost.
Unfair exchange breeds entitlement or retaliation.

Do this

Open separate accounts and one common account for shared goals.
Fund the common account for school, trips and a home.
Price the replacement cost of home and family work.
Pay the lower earner an agreed share of that value.
Negotiate a prenup openly if wealth is unequal.
Delegate low-priority work so both do what they love.

01.11What If They Don't Want to Get Married and You Do

The partner rushing marriage is often the underdog; level the playing field and the pressure changes.

Key points

Unconditional love is the balance of similars and differences.
Infatuation puts them on a pedestal; resentment puts them below.
The underdog hunts for the one and wants to settle quickly.
The overdog wants options and stalls.
Nobody is committed to you; they are committed to their values.
Compare yourselves across the seven areas of life.
Nothing is missing in you; it just may not be in his form.
Do not marry until you feel banter and fair exchange.

Do this

Score yourselves in the seven life areas honestly.
List where you hold power, not just where he does.
Own each trait you admire in him.
Have him do the Demartini Method on you, and you on him.
Stop pushing or guilt-tripping toward marriage.
Marry only when you feel an equal match.

01.12Dealing With Conflict in a Relationship

Conflict is normal; relink values every quarter and run the seven-step Demartini Method.

Key points

Peace without war is unrealistic; conflict is a feedback signal.
Values change over time, so old expectations become wrong.
Unmet expectations after a job change or child cause conflict.
Linking needs about 25 to 30 answers per pair of values.
Without links you get alternating monologues.
Always and never labels are biased filters.
Every trait has an upside and downside; see both.
Resentments often compare partners to a fantasy.

Do this

Redo the value determination every quarter.
Link your top three values to theirs, both directions.
List what you admire and despise in them until balanced.
Find when you showed the same trait: where, when, who.
Find the upside of what you despise and downside of what you admire.
Find where they did the opposite and who did the opposite to them.

01.13Final Message

Repeat the modules to apply them; the Breakthrough Experience goes deeper.

Key points

Replaying modules raises the chance you apply them.
Aim is more appreciation, communication and inspiration.
The Demartini Method and value applications go deeper in the live program.
He invites you to bring loved ones along.

Do this

Replay the modules you found most useful.
Pick one exercise to start this week.
Share the course with your partner.
Consider the Breakthrough Experience for the full method.

02Life Mastery Blueprint

Demartini says life has seven areas, and your top values drive your power in each; empower them or others will overpower you.

02.01Introduction

Life has seven areas; any area you do not empower, other people will end up controlling.

Key points

Seven areas: spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, family, social, physical.
Neglect an area and someone else decides for you there.
Weak mentally: others tell you what to think. Weak financially: others set your worth.
More empowered areas means feeling like master of your destiny, not a victim.
This series is a short overview of a much longer program.
Writing notes by hand helps the material stick.

Do this

List the seven areas and rate your power in each.
Pick the area where others currently overpower you.
Take notes by hand while watching each module.
Rewatch the modules and apply one idea each time.

02.02Mental Genius and Creativity

You learn and create best when study is linked to your highest values and your emotions are balanced.

Key points

Your brain filters input; what matches your top value gets through.
Top value shapes your identity, purpose and area of expertise.
Attention problems often mean the task is low on your values.
Link any topic to your top three values, answer 10 to 30 times.
Seeing only upsides or only downsides of something blocks real knowledge.
The Demartini Method uses questions to balance both sides and calm the mind.
Water, steady blood sugar and a cool room help focus.
Small daily steps build big ability, like his 30 words a day.

Do this

Take the free value determination at drdemartini.com and find your top three values.
Before studying, ask: how does this help me fulfill my highest value?
Answer that question 10 to 30 times for each of your top three values.
Delegate low-value tasks; dedicate time to high-value ones.
Each day, note what you ate and did, and what helped focus.
When something hooks or enrages you, list its upsides and downsides until balanced.
Say daily: I am a genius and I apply my wisdom.

02.03Vocation, Career and Business

Work engagement comes from seeing how your duties serve your own highest values, and the same goes for your team.

Key points

Nobody works for the company; they work to fulfill their own values.
Engaged people need no pushing; disengaged ones procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate.
Know a candidate's top values before hiring them.
Ask candidates how each duty serves their values; hesitation is a warning.
Leaders get results by speaking in terms of the other person's values.
Sales work the same way: learn the buyer's priorities first.
Company size follows the size of your vision.
Business model is serving people by doing what you love.

Do this

Get each team member's top three values.
Ask each person how every job duty serves their top values.
Link your top three values to theirs, in both directions, many times.
Pitch customers using their priorities, not yours.
Ask daily: what is my highest-priority action to serve the most people?
Ask: how do I do what I love while helping others do what they love?
Write your vision and make it bigger than your current circle.

02.04Finances and Wealth Building

Your values decide where your money goes, so wealth building needs a high place in your top values.

Key points

Your values show in your spending; check where money really goes.
If wealth building is not in your top four, independence is unlikely.
Buying things that lose value keeps you in debt.
Paying later separates pleasure from pain and breeds debt habits.
Assets that compound lower taxes and make money work for you.
Money flows to those who value it and serve many people.
Defer gratification and clear guilt that says you do not deserve wealth.
Raise your savings and investing amount on a schedule.

Do this

Find where wealth building ranks in your values.
Total your assets, liabilities and net worth today.
Name the exact yearly passive income that means independence.
Pick an interest rate and inflation rate; divide income by the net rate to get your target.
Calculate the gap between your net worth and that target.
Start investing a small fixed amount now.
Raise that amount every three months (force accelerated savings).
Ask how saving and investing serves your top values, and list the benefits.

02.05Family and Relationships

People commit to their own values, so relationships last when each person sees how the other fulfills theirs.

Key points

Nobody is dedicated to you; they are dedicated to their own values.
Being empowered in the other six areas makes you more attractive.
Perception, not magic, drives attraction chemistry.
Link both partners' values to get respect, dialogue and bonding.
Talking down or sacrificing yourself both fail; equal exchange works.
What you judge in a partner, you also do somewhere yourself.
Expecting only the good side of a person is unrealistic.
Finding common threads unifies a relationship.

Do this

Write their top three values and yours.
Answer 30 times: how do their values help me fulfill mine?
Answer 30 times: how do my values help them fulfill theirs?
Link first to second values, and second to second.
Name one trait you dislike in them; recall when you did it too.
Drop the one-sided expectation; accept both sides of them.
Do this exercise at a restaurant table while waiting for food.

02.06Social Leadership and Empowerment

Everyone has a dormant leader inside, woken by living and acting on your highest value instead of copying others.

Key points

Goals in line with your top value raise achievement and self-belief.
Putting people on pedestals shrinks you; putting them down inflates you.
A real leader owns every trait, hero and villain alike.
Know your core competence, stick to it, delegate the rest.
Living by priority gives you a clear vision of what to create.
Choose one thing to master (Gary Keller's The One Thing).
Envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide, he says.
Stand out as yourself; conforming will not make a difference.

Do this

State exactly what you intend to lead.
Identify your top value and your one thing to master.
List lower-priority tasks and delegate them to people who love them.
Ask: what are my highest-priority action steps today?
Ask: how can I do what I love and get well paid?
Stop comparing yourself to others; compare daily actions to your values.
Write a vivid picture of what you want to create.

02.07Physical Health and Wellbeing

Symptoms are feedback from skewed perception and stress, so balancing your views and living by priority builds wellness.

Key points

Symptoms can be messages, not just enemies to suppress.
Stress comes from fearing the loss or gain of something you judge strongly.
Overeating and undereating under stress follow hunger hormone patterns.
Polarized perception pushes the nervous system out of balance and fuels inflammation.
Balanced perception brings love, steady body rhythms and wellness.
Empowering one area of life stabilizes the others.
Expecting a one-sided world creates suffering.
Low-priority living drains you; priority living brings vitality.

Do this

When a symptom appears, ask what you did or perceived just before.
List the upsides and downsides of whoever or whatever you strongly judge.
Reduce stress by dropping one-sided expectations.
Delegate low priorities; dedicate time to your highest ones.
Link values with people close to you to calm tension.
Be consistent in training your body toward a clear purpose.

02.08Spirituality and Inspiration

Your spiritual path is whatever you spontaneously love most, and balanced perception of opposites brings inspiration and a sense of perfection.

Key points

Living your top value triggers spontaneous inspiration to act.
Spiritual path can be religion, mountains, teaching, parenting or investing.
Your top value reveals your purpose, identity and expertise.
Balancing positive and negative views brings an aha moment, he says.
Seeing no need to change others or yourself is a state of grace.
Inspired people attract people and events that fit their mission.
Every symptom in every area guides you back to authenticity.
Do not envy, imitate, put down or put up; keep people in your heart.

Do this

Name what you can't wait to get up and do.
Prioritize your day around your highest value.
Link what you perceive and do to your top value.
Practice balancing opposites on whoever you judge.
Give yourself permission to be your authentic self.
Let your inner vision outweigh outside opinions.
Apply the seven areas for 60 days and watch the change.
Rewatch the series and share it with people you care about.

0310 Essential Steps to Financial Independence

Dr Demartini gives a ten-step money map: know your numbers, set a precise passive-income target, size the gap, then close it with a strategy and ever-rising automatic investing.

03.0110 Essential Steps to Financial Independence - Steps 1 to 5

You cannot reach financial freedom without knowing exactly where you start and what you are aiming for.

Key points

Many want freedom but cannot name these steps; that shows weak value on wealth.
Step 1: Total assets. List every asset at a conservative sale value, with documents.
Step 2: Total liabilities. Know every debt exactly; debt buying earning assets can be wise.
Step 3: Net worth is assets minus liabilities. Negative is fine; truth matters.
Step 4: Yearly passive income you want, pre-tax. One exact number, not vague.
Step 5: Average yearly return you can honestly expect on investments. Be conservative, not fantasy-based.
Money flows to people who keep order around it; tidy finances attract more.
Compare yourself to your own goals and actions, not to other people.
Your home is not an asset unless it puts money in your pocket.

Do this

List every asset with a folder, a photo, cost and conservative sale value.
Write down every loan and credit balance with exact amounts.
Subtract liabilities from assets to get your net worth number.
Choose the exact yearly passive income that would count as free for you.
Pick a realistic average return rate and write it down.
Keep a printed and digital copy of your finances, plus one stored off-site.
Educate yourself: read finance books and spend time with people who build wealth.

03.0210 Essential Steps to Financial Independence - Steps 6 to 9

Do the honest maths on inflation and the gap, then build a real strategy instead of a get-rich fantasy.

Key points

Step 6: Inflation rate. Use a 30 to 50 year average, not this year.
Step 7: Net worth needed. Divide target income by (return minus inflation).
Example: 7% return minus 2% inflation is 5%, so 20 times $100,000 means $2 million.
Step 8: Shortfall. Needed net worth minus current net worth shows the real gap.
Use the law of 72 to see how fast inflation doubles your cost of living.
The gap can feel scary; most people avoid the facts and stay in fantasy.
Step 9: Strategy. Quick get-rich schemes and gambling usually fail; be the tortoise.
A strategy may mix your own business, investments and learned skills.
Wealth without order feels overwhelming, but facing facts gives you something to act on.

Do this

Look up the long-term average inflation rate and write it down.
Calculate needed net worth: target income divided by (return minus inflation).
Subtract your current net worth to find your shortfall.
Work out the monthly saving needed over your chosen number of years.
Add inflation to your target before choosing your timeline.
Write a strategy: business, investments and skills that can close the gap.
Reject any plan that depends on luck, lotteries or gambling.

03.0310 Essential Steps to Financial Independence - Step 10 and Beyond

Start saving small, raise it on a schedule, automate it, and keep a purpose beyond the money.

Key points

Step 10: Savings and investment schedule. Start at a comfortable amount, then keep raising it.
Raise your amount every three months and rerun a projection each time.
Growth happens at the edge of comfort and discomfort; raise it once comfortable.
Ramp up about 10% each quarter; it doubles roughly every two years.
Automate transfers into a stable brokerage account; also fund a separate tax account.
Save the greater of the percentage or the set minimum, even in lean months.
Rule: only raise lifestyle if savings and taxes rise by the same amount.
Move savings up into better-yielding investments as your knowledge grows.
He reached independence in about nine years; his target grew roughly 15 to 20 times.
After freedom, keep a cause and purpose or you will plateau and just buy things.

Do this

Pick a starting monthly saving amount that feels slightly comfortable.
Schedule a rise every three months, around 10%.
Run a projection at 1, 5, 10, 20 and 30 years after each rise.
Set up automatic transfers into a stable investment account.
Open a separate tax account and fund it weekly.
Make a rule: no lifestyle increase without equal savings and tax increase.
Write the purpose you will serve once you are financially free.
If the target feels too big, start midway between now and ideal.

04Building a Business That Serves

Dr Demartini's eight-lesson system for building a service business around a values-based mission, priorities, caring sales and wise money habits.

04.01Introduction

A seven-module system to help service professionals build a business around mission, priorities and caring.

Key points

The course covers mission, manifestation, obstacles, prioritization, selling, money and packaging.
Clear mission beats a hazy one; clarity makes people go farther.
The manifestation formula turns ideas into real things, step by step.
A delegation system helped him grow his business tenfold in 18 months.
Selling is a nine-step process, and selling and caring are the same thing.
Manage money wisely so you earn the right to manage more.
Helping other people get what they want gets you what you want.

Do this

Commit to finishing all seven modules in order.
Take notes as you go and apply each step the same week.
Review the modules again later to absorb them deeper.

04.02Defining Your Mission

Your mission must come from your highest value, written until it moves you, and matched to what clients value.

Key points

Mission size sets impact size: ask how big your vision really is.
A real mission is what you do spontaneously, with no outside motivation.
Your highest value is where your identity, expertise and purpose meet.
Find your niche where your highest value meets the client's dominant buying motive.
A mission statement needs a Be, a Do and a Have.
Rewrite it again and again; his is on its 82nd edition.
Tears of gratitude when you read it show it is authentic.
Failure and success are side tangents; the mission is the focus.

Do this

Do the free value determination exercise and note your top three values.
List what you do spontaneously without needing motivation.
Ask clients what their problem stops them doing that matters most.
Write a mission statement with a Be, a Do and a Have.
Name exactly who you serve and how, in the statement.
Reread and refine it daily; keep it on your desk.

04.03The Manifestation Formula

A 13-step sequence from purpose to results that turns a mission into a real business.

Key points

Order: purpose, thought, vision, affirmation, feeling, plan, place, time, action, energy, resources, gratitude.
Your dominant thought and mental picture steer where you end up.
Affirmation means being firm and clear, not just saying positive phrases.
Power comes from balanced feelings: gratitude, love, inspiration, certainty, presence.
Write a master plan: a short pencil beats a long memory.
Set realistic goals and timeframes; mismatches are feedback.
Aligned with your highest value, you notice opportunities others overlook.
Doing high-value work raises your sense of deserving what you want.

Do this

Write your purpose and keep your daily thinking matched to it.
Write a vivid description of what your business looks like.
Say your mission aloud daily, clearly enough that others can picture it.
Write your plan: who you serve, how, where, and by when.
Choose a realistic scope and timeframe, then adjust from feedback.
Each day, note what worked, what did not, and what you are grateful for.

04.04The Obstacles You Face (and the 7 Fears)

Distractions come from putting people above or below you; balance the view and fear fades.

Key points

Seven life areas: spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, family, social, physical.
Any area you do not empower, someone else will overpower.
Pedestals and pits both pull you off mission and create imposter feelings.
Fear is an imagined imbalance: expecting more downside than upside, or the reverse.
Old unbalanced memories trigger anxiety when something reminds you of them.
Counter every view: see downsides of what you adore, upsides of what you fear.
Unmet needs of family, staff or clients become obstacles to your growth.
Insomnia and intrusive thoughts signal unresolved polarized perceptions.

Do this

Name the fear or fantasy behind each goal you avoid.
For anything you fear, list how it would also help you.
For anything you idolize, list its downsides honestly.
Stop comparing yourself to others; compare your actions to your values.
Ask how your growth meets the needs of family and team.
Rate each wheel-of-life area and strengthen the weakest.

04.05Building Your Business Through Prioritization and Delegation

List everything you do, rate it, and delegate the low-value tasks so you work only on the top ones.

Key points

List every action you do over three months, one specific action per line.
Column two: income each action produces per hour.
Column three: meaning of each action on a scale of one to ten.
Column four: true hourly cost to delegate to someone equal or better.
Column five: the spread between income and cost, and column six: how often.
Combine all columns into a final ranking, grouped into about ten layers.
Hire people whose own highest values fit the job, so no micromanaging.
Doing low-priority work devalues you; he raised income tenfold by shedding layers.

Do this

List every task you do, in small specific actions.
Write the income per hour for each task.
Score each task one to ten for meaning, and cost to delegate.
Rank tasks into layers and write a job description for each.
Ask candidates how the job fulfills their values; no fluent answer, no hire.
Delegate one layer at a time, starting with the lowest value.

04.06How to Sell Your Services to Clients

Selling is caring: ask questions, find needs, and offer only what matches them, in nine steps.

Key points

Step one: greet and introduce yourself, with a smile and real interest.
Step two: build rapport by finding three plus or minus two common threads.
Step three: ask questions to uncover needs; never tell people what they need.
Step four: repeat their needs back to show you listened.
Step five: offer only a service that matches the confirmed needs.
Step six: handle objections; resistance means step back one step.
Steps seven to nine: close with questions, deliver well, then ask for referrals.
Leverage yourself by speaking, media, books and delegation, not only one-to-one.

Do this

Open every conversation with a greeting and real curiosity.
Find at least three things you share with the prospect.
Ask three or more questions to confirm needs before offering.
Restate their needs back and check you got them right.
List common objections and answer them up front.
Confirm satisfaction, then ask for referrals; add a leverage channel.

04.07Financial

Pay yourself first into assets that grow, automate it, and your business gets stronger and freer.

Key points

Put a fixed share of income, start with ten percent, into assets first.
Automate investing so emotions cannot interfere.
Keep three to six months of cash so ups and downs do not shake you.
Simplify lifestyle, maximize investments, and avoid buying things that lose value.
Financial independence means working because you love to, not because you have to.
Save a growing share over time and push slightly past your comfort zone.
Nine questions framed his plan, from net worth to the shortfall and a strategy.
Valuing yourself financially raises the quality of clients you attract.

Do this

Move ten percent of every income into assets before spending.
Set up automatic weekly or monthly investing.
Build a cash reserve of three to six months.
Write your assets, liabilities, net worth and your independence number.
Calculate the gap and write a strategy to close it.
Raise your savings rate each quarter; get an accountability partner.

04.08Packaging and Delivering Your Services

Sell longer, bigger packages with progress feedback, and use values tools to keep clients clear.

Key points

Focus on a distant goal like a tree on the road, not the white lines.
Longer-term packages give steadier income than small one-off sessions.
Capacity equals new clients times average package value.
A bigger package means fewer clients are needed for the same income.
Report progress to clients and gather their feedback regularly.
Find each client's values and mission so there is less drama and more results.
Clients with old baggage need a way to clear it; he sells two programs.
Helping others get what they want gets you what you want.

Do this

Design a package of six to twelve months or longer.
Compute your capacity: clients per month times package price.
Pick a bigger package price so you need fewer clients.
Build a progress report and feedback step into every client.
Ask new clients to clarify their values and mission first.
Apply the course steps starting today and review them often.

05Master Your Perceptions, Master Your Life

Your reactions come from lopsided views of events, and asking balancing questions lets you take charge of your choices and your life.

05.01Introduction

Changing how you see events changes your life, and anything you can be thankful for becomes fuel.

Key points

The series is about taking command of your life through your perceptions.
William James: people change their lives by changing their attitudes and views.
Anything you are not grateful for is baggage; anything you can thank is fuel.
Goal: turn what happens into something on the way, not in the way.
Be a master of your destiny, not a victim of your history.
He says he has seen this work with about 150,000 people.
Watch it more than once, take notes, and apply it.

Do this

Watch or listen to the series more than once.
Take notes as you go.
Pick one upsetting event to work on as you follow along.
Apply each idea to real situations, not just in theory.

05.02Module 1 - Reception, Perception, Conception

Senses feed the brain, but how you read them decides whether you react or choose.

Key points

Input moves from reception to perception to conception to apperception, getting more balanced as it rises.
A perception is new sensory data mixed with stored past memories.
Fast route: the amygdala labels things good or bad and you react before thinking.
Slow route: the front cortex sees both sides, so you think before you act.
Survival mode is reflex; thriving mode is reflection.
Seeing only upsides or only downsides creates fear, craving, and body symptoms.
Balanced views bring gratitude, love, certainty, and calm, spontaneous action.
Living by your top priority keeps you objective; ignoring it makes you emotional.

Do this

Notice when you react fast and feel charged about something.
Pause and ask which side of the event you are blind to.
Treat emotions and body symptoms as a signal of a lopsided view.
Check whether you are acting from your top priority today.
Aim to think first and feel second.

05.03Module 2 - How Perceptions Affect Your Decisions and Actions

Lopsided perceptions make you react and be run from outside; balanced ones let you act from within.

Key points

The amygdala makes most decisions by tagging things as seek or avoid.
Stored one-sided memories fire like reflexes when something reminds you of them.
The front cortex calms the amygdala and lets you see both sides at once.
Time often shows the upsides of a bad event, or the downsides of a good one.
You can speed this up by asking about the benefits on the spot.
Nobody is always nice or always mean; your reasoning mind knows you are mixed.
Resenting means you are too proud to admit the trait is in you; adoring means too humble.
Environment matters, but your view of it matters more, and you can retrain it.

Do this

When upset, ask: what are the upsides of this event?
Hold yourself to actually finding an answer.
Next time you judge someone, admit you share a version of the trait.
Notice when a repeated reaction is an old unbalanced memory.
Choose to act on your response rather than let the outside drive you.

05.04Module 3 - Balancing Positive and Negative Perceptions

No event is purely good or bad; ask counter-questions until you see both sides evenly.

Key points

Method: for a negative, ask how it benefited you, in that moment and since.
Benefits must be truly caused by that event; never invent or distort.
For a positive, list its real drawbacks the same way.
The goal is neutral, not flipping bad to good or good to bad.
Keep going until benefits and drawbacks match.
Balance brings gratitude, inspiration, presence, and a sense of hidden order.
One-sided views feel chaotic and add stress; balanced ones feel centered.
The quality of your life follows the quality of your questions.

Do this

Pick a person or event you strongly resent and write its benefits.
Ask: did it make me more resourceful, humble, or resilient?
Pick something you adore and list its real costs.
Check that each item you list was caused by that event.
Keep listing until the two sides feel equal and you feel calm.
Repeat on anything that still charges you.

05.05Module 4 - Balancing Gain and Loss Perceptions

Nothing is truly gained or lost; things just change form, so find where it went or came from.

Key points

Loss story example: a woman felt abandoned by her mother.
Ask what trait you think is missing, then who provides it now.
List everyone who filled that role until the amount matches what you lost.
Then list the benefits of the new form and the drawbacks of the old one.
For a gain, ask who gave you that before, until the amounts match.
Fantasy means seeing mostly upsides; nightmare means mostly downsides.
Gain and loss drama brings grief or elation; balanced math ends it.
The master lives in transformation, not in gain and loss.

Do this

Name something you feel is lost or missing.
Write the exact trait or action you miss.
List every person now supplying it, until quantities match.
List the benefits of the new form and the drawbacks of the old.
For a recent gain, ask who provided it before and balance it.
Ask what the drawback would have been if it stayed the same.

05.06Module 5 - Missingness, Values and the Void

What you judge in others is a disowned part of you, and that emptiness shapes your values.

Key points

Putting someone on a pedestal shrinks you; putting them down inflates you.
Each judgment creates a disowned part and a feeling of emptiness.
Your ranking of voids becomes your ranking of values.
Values then decide what you label positive or negative; it runs both ways.
Whatever you see in others, you also have.
Pits make you expect others to live your values; pedestals make you sacrifice for theirs.
Seeing yourself in them gives fair, lasting exchange and love instead of judgment.
Acting on inner vision gives foresight; reacting gives hindsight.

Do this

Ask: where do I show the same trait I see in them?
Do it for a person you admire and one you resent.
Find the benefit of their negative trait and the drawback of the positive one.
Stop putting people up or down; see them on level ground.
Note your own examples of the trait in real moments.

05.07Module 6 - Your Highest Value (Telos) and Destiny

Your ranked values decide how you see, choose and act, and living by the top one makes you masterful.

Key points

Everyone has a unique ranked list of values, whatever their age or culture.
Top values are intrinsic: you act on them without needing rewards or pushing.
Low values need outside rewards and punishments to get done.
Aristotle called the highest value the telos; Napoleon Hill called it the chief aim.
Living by it raises self-worth; living on low priorities lowers it.
You notice what matches your values, like a new mother spotting baby items.
Living by top values keeps you objective; ignoring them makes you emotional.
Self-sabotage often means you are acting outside your highest values.

Do this

Take the free value determination process on drdemartini.com (13 questions).
Answer honestly, then write your top values in order.
Fill your day with actions tied to your highest value.
Delegate or drop low-priority tasks where you can.
Notice where you are most disciplined and where you sabotage yourself.
Reread earlier modules with your values in mind.

05.08Module 7 - Linking and Changing Perceptions

Link any event to your highest value and your life areas, and it moves from in the way to on the way.

Key points

Two options: do what you love and delegate the rest, or love what you do by linking.
Linking question: how is this helping me fulfill my highest value and mission?
Also ask how it helps in seven life areas: spiritual, mental, business, financial, family, social, physical.
Count benefits against drawbacks to see your ratio, like 10 to 2.
Ratios beyond about 7 to 1 make you reactive and weaken intuition.
Bring ratios down step by step to 1 to 1 to regain control.
Drama is just imbalanced perception; questions make the unconscious conscious.
Less noise lets the signal of your calling come through.

Do this

Take one annoying task and ask how it serves your highest value.
Answer for each of the seven life areas.
Write drawbacks and benefits to see your ratio.
Keep adding the missing side until the ratio is near 1 to 1.
Do not say I don't know; keep looking until you find answers.
Repeat daily for anything that still charges you.
Replay the series and apply it to real events.

06The Path to Great Leadership (6 Steps)

Leadership grows from six linked steps, starting with living your top value and ending with saving and investing the rewards.

06.01Introduction

Six short modules, each one a step that builds your leadership, from your mission to your money.

Key points

The six steps: service, structure, specialised knowledge, speaking, selling, saving.
Everyone has a leader inside; the steps wake it up.
A clear mission creates a ripple effect that is hard to stop.
Stay in your core strength and hire others for the rest.
Speaking well and selling ideas are what move your message out.
Saving and investing makes your money work for you.
Modules run 8 to 24 minutes; replay them and share them.

Do this

Watch the modules in order, one at a time.
Write down the mission you want to lead.
Give yourself permission to do something big.
Replay the program and share it with future leaders.

06.02Step 1 - Service

Your service is whatever your highest value drives you to do; living by it wakes your leader.

Key points

Everyone lives by a ranked list of values; it shapes what you see and do.
Top values are intrinsic: you act on them without outside push.
Low values need pushing; you procrastinate and hesitate there.
Comparing yourself to others borrows their values and clouds yours.
Goals matching your top value switch on the brain's executive centre.
That gives vision, planning, execution and self-governance.
Your service expresses your top value, so mission feels unstoppable.
Learn the values of the people you lead, then speak to those.

Do this

Find your highest value using the 13-question values process on his website.
Notice what you do daily without being pushed; that is your service.
Stop comparing yourself to people you see as ahead.
Ask: what specifically do I serve, and what are my top priority actions?
Ask people you lead what they value most.
Pursue your service despite other people's opinions.

06.03Step 2 - Structure

Speak to people's values and they engage on their own, so you need fewer layers and less control.

Key points

Nobody works for a company; they work to fulfil their own values.
Ignore their values and you get resistance, then force, then revolt.
Engaged people need no pushing, so bureaucracy shrinks.
Too autocratic breeds revolt; too loose breeds chaos; aim for balance.
Balance self-service and service to others, not one at their cost.
Daily feedback tells you which way you have drifted.
Less skilled or manual teams may need somewhat more structure.
Fewer layers means a more efficient system.

Do this

List the main values of the people you lead before leading them.
Ask: how does what they want help me get what I want?
Ask: how does my mission specifically help them?
Cut layers and controls that exist only to push people.
Watch for resistance or chaos as signs to adjust.
Find where your values and theirs overlap and build there.

06.04Step 3 - Specialised Knowledge

When people do what they love, they study it eagerly and gain a competitive advantage.

Key points

Competitive advantage means doing what is most inspiring and productive to you.
People naturally learn most about what they value most.
Match delegated work to what each person finds meaningful.
Engaged people are creative and skip breaks without noticing time.
Motivation is a symptom, never a solution; inspiration replaces it.
Hire according to values so people stay engaged.
Charisma is what people feel when their values can be fulfilled.
Your knowledge may be in managing people or planning, not only books.

Do this

Spend your time on your own top-priority tasks.
Have each team member list their tasks and rank them by productivity.
Show people how their priorities serve their own values.
Hire for values fit, not just skill.
Study your area of work every day.
Collect feedback on what each person does spontaneously well.

06.05Step 4 - Speaking

Speaking lifts your leadership, and the fear of it fades when you focus on your mission, not yourself.

Key points

Overcoming fear of speaking alone puts you in a top group.
The way to learn is to speak at every chance you get.
Stage fear is really self-focus and comparing yourself to someone in the room.
Ask: who intimidates me, and what exactly do they have?
Then find where and when you show that same trait yourself.
Do this until you see them as equals and the fear goes.
Prepare and rehearse hard; he studied for hours before an expert conference.
Start from your core competence and expand from there.

Do this

Take every chance to speak, big or small.
Before speaking, scan the audience for who intimidates you.
Name what they have, then list where you show the same trait.
Repeat until the comparison feels equal.
Rehearse and picture the talk beforehand.
Keep your mind on the mission and the people served.
Build your talk from what you know best.

06.06Step 5 - Selling

Nothing happens until someone sells something to someone, so follow nine steps and never skip any.

Key points

Nine steps: greet, rapport, establish need, confirm need, solution, objections, close, deliver, referrals.
Greet and introduce first; it earns the right to build rapport.
Rapport means finding three to five things in common.
Selling is asking questions, not telling.
Confirm the need by repeating it back until they agree.
Offer your solution only after the need is confirmed.
Skipping steps brings objections; price pushback means needs were not met.
Always deliver on time, then ask for specific referrals and feedback.

Do this

Rehearse a short, clear self-introduction.
Find three to five things you share with the person.
Ask what they need and what has frustrated them before.
Repeat back their needs and get a clear yes.
Prepare answers for likely objections in advance.
Close by checking if anything stops you moving forward today.
Deliver exactly what you promised, when you promised.
Ask satisfied clients for feedback and named referrals.

06.07Step 6 - Saving

Saving a growing slice of income, then investing it, builds stability, credibility and magnetism for leaders.

Key points

Manage money wisely and you get more to manage.
A cash cushion cuts emotional swings and raises your confidence.
He started saving for wealth at 28, not for things.
He began small: about $200 a month, raised every 90 days.
His FAST method: Force Accelerated Savings Technique.
Raise savings 10 percent each quarter, automatically, to remove emotion.
Savings roughly double every two years.
Invest, build skills, until passive income matches active income.
Balance serving others and serving yourself, or you burn out.

Do this

Pick a small amount and start saving it today.
Automate the transfer so emotion stays out.
Raise the amount 10 percent every quarter.
Chart your savings and investment income each quarter.
Learn investing and get advisers you trust.
Keep the cash reserve separate from spending.
Re-run all six steps as a repeating cycle.

06.08Conclusion

Everyone has a leader inside, and replaying and sharing these six steps brings it out.

Key points

The six modules work best applied and replayed.
Share them with people you want to influence.
He believes every person has an innate leader.

Do this

Listen to the program again and again.
Share it with people you want to lead.
Give yourself permission to act as a great leader now.

07How to Change Your Values

Raise or lower any value in your hierarchy by stacking specific benefits or drawbacks and linking it to your top values, so your behaviour matches your goals.

07.01How to Change Your Values - Presentation

Your value order drives your results, and you can reorder it on purpose by stacking benefits and links.

Key points

Your hierarchy of values dictates your destiny; goals missing from it tend to stall.
Two options: set goals matching your values, or change values to match goals.
To raise a value, use stacking: list specific benefits and reasons for doing it.
Be specific; vague principles do nothing. Ask what you gain and why it matters.
Keep stacking until your behaviour changes; some need 50 reasons, others 200.
Linking: ask how the new value specifically helps your top value, then your second.
Then ask how your top and second values specifically help the new value.
More links in both directions slide the new value between those two.
To lower a value, stack its specific drawbacks and de-link it from top values.
Close values on the list enhance each other; distant ones hinder each other.
High values bring discipline and action; low ones bring procrastination and frustration.
A bigger why makes the how easy; do not wait for a crisis.

Do this

Write your top five values and the goal that is missing from them.
Stack specific benefits of the new goal until your behaviour shifts.
Write how the goal helps your top value, specifically.
Write how your top value helps the new goal, specifically.
Repeat the links for your second value; add more over several sessions.
To lower a value, list its specific drawbacks and de-link it.
Check for action: if you are still passive, stack more reasons.
Choose: align goals to values, or change values to fit the goals.

Study notes, not the course. The full courses are by Dr John Demartini at drdemartini.com.